This birthday I was certain that I wanted to wear something I hadn’t worn before. As luck would have it, I came across an oversized tee-shirt at ZARA TRF. It was cute. My sister agreed to my choice and suggested that I should pair it with shorts. Little did she know that I already had a pair of shorts in my mind. I had been dying to borrow them from my girl-friend; and I finally did.
Fast forward to the day before my birthday. I had to go to the airport and pick up my best friend. I thought to myself, “It’s six in the morning! What better time and occasion to test the waters!” I slipped into those super tiny hot pants, paired them with a tee and sneakers and off I went. Let me tell you, while it was the first time I was donning a pair of hot pants, I was as comfortable as it gets. Also comfort is guaranteed when it’s Forever 21. So, fitting? Check. Sassy look? Check. All what was left was testing public reaction. And that’s where my story begins.
It’s been two weeks since I first wore those shorts. Believe me I have been wearing them every time I step out of the house. Frankly, the only time I don’t wear them is when I go to work or when I hit the bed. Am I obsessed with them? Certainly. In these two weeks, hundreds of people have passed by me. And trust me, there hasn’t been anyone who hasn’t given me the look. Whether out of scorn, curiosity, shock or interest. I have been glanced at, letched, talked about, even complimented. In fact there was one time when I caught a man who had fixed his gaze on me as if…let it be. The point is that most often than not, the reactions have been neutral bending more towards negative or furiously negative.
Walking in loose tees with my earphones plugged-in I walk like I don’t give a damn. Because honestly I don’t. It took me 19 years to come to terms with myself and my body shape. Over that 4 more years to finally tell myself, “Do, wear, eat, drink whatever the fuck you want to.” Perhaps people can’t digest such oozing confidence, or wait, perhaps for them I am ABNORMAL. Well if that’s the case I say, “Normal…what fun is that?” Still, these people get me thinking like no one else. I have closure issues, so if I want to know something I bloody well get to it and know it all. I am intrigued. I want to know what they are thinking. I know it’s going to shock me but I am ready to risk it.
This thought over took my head today. I dared to pair a tank top with the hot pants. And when I was just about to shut this thought for the day, the answer walked upto me. I was waiting for the metro to arrive. A suave man (in his early fifties) walked upto me and asked, “What are you wearing? You realise you are wearing overt and conspicuous clothes, right?” I was surprised, although I had to appreciate his guts! He paused and I felt I must begin my response. But no! Turns out he had taken the liberty of a dramatic pause (in the middle of an everyday conversation? Really? He must really love theatre). And then what followed was what he wishes he hadn’t had the guts for. He asked me why I wearing women’s apparel? And in a bout of courage or anger, quite unabashedly, I threw a row of questions at him. To begin with, I asked, “Sir, were you the one who lay the rules for men and women clothing? How did you come about deciding who should wear who? Do you also realise that back in the day kings also used to wear jewellery and stuff? Also how do you know that I didn’t buy these shorts from male children’s section?” But just about then, I felt that I was overreacting, and there was no point wasting my time on someone who WILL NOT UNDERSTAND. So just to calm things down, I added, “Woh aaj kal na uncle, garmi bahut hai! Toh isliye! (It’s too hot these days), and I walked off.
So not that I wasn’t aware of such ideas flourishing in people’s super intellectual minds, it’s just that I barely interact with people who hold such mindsets.
Not that I didn’t know, but I re-realised certain quirks about people!
- They will think, imagine, say and conclude whatever the fuck they want. You cannot help it. So don’t give a damn.
- Make sure you keep getting intrigued with the fact that people are staring at you. It’ll keep the vibe going. It’ll keep you pumped-up about heading out with a peculiar #OOTD.
- Not everyone is sceptical about what you are wearing. When I am in my hot pants, every auto rickshaw driver wants to ride me, I mean give me a ride! They are very sweet.
- Couples, especially honeymoon couples will be very excited to see you dressed in that demeanour. You are an exquisite piece of art in an open museum – the city they’re honeymooning at.
- You will genuinely love some people, because they will either not care about you or talk upto you sand compliment.
- Oh and yes! You look so attractive that you become the topic of discussion for any couple who’s on a date (a date where one of them is deciding the brand and kind of condoms they want to buy that night). Yes you are that great, my love!
These things are true. I am sure all of you might not agree to what I feel. Some of you might even write to me to bash me. But for me this is what it is. I live in a sweet house in Andheri West, but the access is a little tedious to tackle; that is till you get used to it. Walking through a little over 100 metres of slums, you always feel you’re walking the ramp. All eyes on you! Honestly, the moment you’re a girl or dressed a little eccentric, you have the attention. And now when I walk the ramp in my hot pants, I flash my flesh like it’s no one business. Because honestly it’s not!
I always walk with my chin up, proud! The only time I look down is when I tie my shoe laces, when I cross a place of worship and when I greet Namaste. Honestly, I also look down for reasons that can’t be mentioned! But these days, for past 14 days I look down to check out my hot legs! They are really hot!
People look at me, excuse me, stare at me as if I asked how big were they down there! I am 23-years-old, and I am more confident than I have ever been – about myself and about my choices. Today I am me; an unapologetic bitch!
Image: A beautiful friend who conceptualised the picture so well